My Gap Year

As I’ve been traveling, I’ve noticed something about the way I recall my experiences. I’ve always been an organized person (some might say anal), and things seem to make more sense to me when they’re concretely organizable and objectively determinable. In other words, I like things to fit together neatly.

That’s why it’s weird to me that the memories I’ve been creating during my gap year are surprisingly non-factual and more impressions than details. Do I remember the name of every hike I did in New Zealand (without going back and looking at my Instagram posts)? No. But do I have a strong recollection of my time in New Zealand? Absolutely. I’m left with an overall sense impression about the natural beauty of New Zealand. Same for the tranquility of Kyoto, the spicy noodles in Korea, or the scuba diving in Australia.

With time, my impressions crystalize and the details fade. However, my first trip to Thailand left me with both emotionally subjective and what I believe to be objectively accurate memories. When I traveled there during my first trip around the world, I would have to say it was (by far) the lowlight of the experience. Granted, I was on a round-the-world ticket that essentially required me to fly standby and, despite the plan to spend about 4 or 5 days in Thailand, I wound up stuck there for over a week. My negative experience was enough to turn me off Thai food, and, with the exception of a pad thai here or there, I haven’t eaten any since 1984.

After 40 years, I still have vivid recollections about Thailand. When we reached Bangkok, the friends I was traveling with and I decided that we’d hire a guide, since, at that time, the city was a mass of interconnecting canals and confusing streets that seemed to run in circles, changing names along the way. I don’t remember how we found him, but we hired a middle-aged man who was a high school history teacher to take us around to see the major sites. Things started off all right – we saw many of the famous temples and Buddhas, and learned about the country’s history. By the afternoon, however, things took an unexpected turn. In lieu of further sightseeing, the guide asked if we wanted him to find us some girls. I guess it wasn’t completely out of the blue – we were, after all, three 21 year old college graduates backpacking through Southeast Asia. But we ended our tour on a sour note; I remember almost none of what he told us about Bangkok, but have a very clear recollection of his prostitution inquiry.

We decided to get out of Bangkok and headed for some time on the beach in Pattaya, but Pattaya made Bangkok seem like a monastery. Everywhere we turned, we were accosted by men, boys, women, girls, ladyboys (kathoey) and every combination imaginable, pushing us to buy drugs, go to sex shows or hire prostitutes. I can’t remember how many days we spent in Pattaya, but it felt like an eternity. I have a photo from our time in Thailand of a raised middle finger made out of Cheez Whiz on the guidebook page for Pattaya. Not the most mature way of expressing our sentiments, but accurately illustrative.

What I didn’t know at the time was that, during the Vietnam War, Thailand became a major hub for R&R for the U.S. military, which directly caused a massive expansion of the country’s prostitution industry and cemented its role as a key transit point for heroin and other narcotics. Cities like Bangkok and Pattaya became centers for sex tourism and, subsequently, drug trafficking, establishing patterns that have continued for decades. It’s weird to think of it, but when I was in Thailand the first time, the Vietnam war was not that far in the rearview mirror.

As part of my gap year, I decided that I needed to revisit Thailand. I wanted to know if I could create a new memory that would temper my 40-year old one.

I had always heard that Chiang Mail was a more spiritual place than Bangkok, so I flew there first. I walked the “Monk’s Trail” to a temple at the top of a mountain and listened to orange-clad monks doing their evening chant. I meandered through the city, visiting hidden temples and found that, this time around, Thai food was really delicious!

I can’t say that I was able to fully recover from my first experience in Bangkok when I went back. Compared to Chiang Mai, Bangkok was crowded, noisy and dirty. Unlike Chiang Mai, you were expected to negotiate the price of everything; I’ve always hated that process – it gives me little pleasure to save the $.35 on a tuk tuk ride by going back and forth and back and forth. But then I went to the night market, tried amazing street food, mingled with the crowds and saw the bright side of Bangkok that I had missed the first time around.

I decided to press my luck and revisit Pattaya as well. This time, however, I got out of Pattaya proper and went to a little island well off the beaten path called Koh Larn. The beach was beautiful, the sunset was magnificent, the island was quiet and the beer was cold. Maybe it’s because I’m now in my 60’s, but I was never offered drugs or prostitutes. I’m still trying to figure out how I feel about that part.

So, Thailand, I owe you an apology. I’m sorry for being close-minded about you. We all can change, and I’d like to think we’ve both changed for the better. I got to know more about you, and I really appreciated how much you’ve grown up. I’m sorry about the Cheez Whiz thing, and I’d like to think you’re sorry about the Pattaya thing. My guides in 2026 were wonderful, happy people who showed me the best you have to offer (without mention of available vices). I’m glad I returned and I’m even looking forward to ordering in some Thai food when I get back to L.A.

Are we good?